I wish my baby was like your baby – Perils of comparing ourselves

I’m a very lucky mummy.

I am blessed to have a very laid back child. Whether that is a genetic thing (my partner is very laid back) or whether he has learnt it from his environment (calm household) I don’t know.

I just try to take each day as it comes, mostly he sets his own routine and it works most of the time. Who doesn’t have the occasional fussy day?

I find it interesting that all babies are so different.

Some are super content, and others just constantly cry. I’m not sure why, it again could be genetic, or is it something the parents are giving off which means the baby can’t settle?

I don’t really know to be honest.

I’ve had one my mummy friends say that she wishes her child was more like mine. It makes me wonder how much comparing are we all doing with each other, wanting and wishing for things?

I feel quite sad about it. No one is content with what they have (no one wants a baby to cry!) but I also find they don’t do anything to rectify the issue at hand.

I find, if I am having a bad day, my little one gets a bit more fussy.

The calmer I am, the more content he is. This took some self awareness work on my part.

I have suffered with anxiety for a very long time and since studying to be a counsellor, I have been able to become aware of my anxiety triggers and am now more able to manage them without medication.

It was hard road to go down, but being so determined I managed to figure it out which had made me more calm now; and I think it’s shown in my energy towards my son.

I do see some mothers are very anxious and have unsettled babies. Could there be a correlation? Possibly. I’m not really sure, but would make an interesting study.

I do it too though. I compare myself and my child to other children his age and there is a part of me that worries he’s not reached a milestone here or there, but I do keep reminding myself that all babies are different and develop in their own time.

For example, he sat up mostly independently from 4 and a half months; and another baby didn’t sit up until 6 months, but can roll from his back to his tummy. My baby can’t roll yet.

So it’s all relative, but he is doing just fine.

It’s natural to compare ourselves and the job we are doing as parents to others, but I think if we can remember all babies develop differently and take a breath perhaps it might help us all move forward?

Who knows.

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