As it is Easter weekend and my partner is home for 4 days, I decided to try putting squidge in his own room to try.
As we did the last feed of the day and took him up, I put the baby monitor on and watched. I was feeling a bit anxious, but also quite calm as he has slept in there before during some of his day time naps.
Initially, he was messing about, babbling away and playing with the bars in the cot, but eventually he went to sleep and all was well.
I sat downstairs with my partner with the baby monitor on, and watched a film. All was really well and squidge was fast asleep. I felt relaxed and calm and we both enjoyed watching a movie with a drink.
When it was time to go to sleep, that is when the anxiety began to kick in. He wasn’t in our room with us and I felt a bit nervous and anxious. I watched the baby monitor like a hawk for about an hour and was toying with bringing him back into our room as I couldn’t really hear him breathing. My partner said to do what I felt comfortable with and what would make more relaxed, and I looked over at the monitor and watched him sleep.
It was funny as this was the first time I felt worried and anxious about my baby. I have generally been very chilled out with things when it comes to my child, but thoughts of pulling the blanket over his head or getting something stuck in the bars was going through my mind.
We have a mat that we can put under the sheet to trace his movements and I think we will be putting that on tonight to help keep me at ease. I’m not the kind of person to worry about my baby. He is totally fine, happy little chap and I love watching him explore new experiences.
Eventually I managed to get to sleep, but at 2am the little rascal woke up chatting away like it was morning. I wasn’t sure what was going on as he sleeps through the night mostly so I watched a bit as he fannied about and managed to turn himself at an angle in the cot. Eventually he fell back asleep, but within minutes began to scream out crying.
This was not like him at all, so I got up, turned him straight and put the blanket on and patted him for a few minutes before leaving the room. He fell back asleep but again within 20 minutes he woke up crying.
I decided to bring him back into our room in our bed. As I picked him up, his hands were freezing, which made me realise he woke up because he was cold! I felt awful and put him in bed with us and he fell asleep straight away.
My poor baby got cold in the night and that is what woke him up.
I didn’t think I would be the sort of person to get worried about my baby not being in the same room as us, as I have been so relaxed about everything else. But I guess there are always new discoveries being a parent as well as being a baby.
We are both learning about each other and ourselves and this journey is beginning to teach me that I worry about my squidge more than I think I do.
Let’s hope tonight provides a much better sleep for both of us.