I can’t believe it.
It has been 6 months since our little boy came into our lives. Time had flown by. It feels like I only just gave birth to him as I am still recovering from the delivery.
I go through photos of him a lot of the time when he is asleep in bed and love seeing his timeline. Sometimes I think my partner thinks I am crazy as I do it quite a lot, but I love seeing how much he has changed in such a short space of time.
If you have read some of my previous posts then I hope there is some understanding about the trauma I felt when giving birth. I still have nightmares sometimes and flashbacks. My body is still holding on to the trauma and it is taking time to process it.
However, I have done my best to remain present and enjoy every little thing my baby has done thus far and it has been awesome. I feel incredibly privileged to be by his side.
There is also a part of me that feels sad to be honest. He is this tiny little person now who smiles when you enter the room and grabs toys and tells me when he isn’t happy in his own way.
He gets more and more wriggly by the day and I just hope I am doing a good enough job raising him.
6 months is milestone! As much as I look back on the past through his life, I am looking forward to the next 6 months of our journey together as a family.
I remember going to birth reflections many times and the lady every time asks me if I can imagine my life without him. I always hesitate to answer that question because my life was very different without him. I liked my life then, but I also like my life now too. I guess, however, that it seems like he has always been with us even though it has only been 6 months.
It isn’t a very long time in my lifetime, being in my 30’s, but it feels like it. He’s my little squidge and we are all very content together in our little world of whatever we are doing.
I still have a little bit of regret from when he was initially born, but I do try and forgive myself every day for not being present then, because I definitely would not be able to be present with him now if I had not processed everything I went through early on in his life.
Looking forward to next chapter little man!